Friday, July 23, 2010

Reactive Attachment Disorder

Well this evening I am reminded that, while moving and traveling will be a very good healing process on the road to recovery with Reactive Attachment Disorder, we will still have to travel to the pits and back before my son comes out on the sunny side.

Oh Lord…
Grant me patience please.

I remember once upon a time wondering why “reactive” was added to the front part of this particular disorder, lol I just didn’t understand how that word fit into the context. Wow, it didn’t take me long to LIVE the answer to that question. And thankfully those huge jaw dropping reactions don’t come along as often as they once did.

Our 3 yr old has Reactive Attachment Disorder (old news to us). Things were really rough for him before he came to live with us and this disorder is just one of the things that resulted from that experience. Going through a huge amount of homes seems like it was the biggest factor in getting that foundation that was so detrimental, so early on.
  • It took him a while to learn to trust us, but even now when he gets scared, he doesn't talk - he reacts. So I guess the deeper more scary parts of trust are still being built - even after 2 years. Being tossed into the air by a loving parent and riding horses were Terrifying, just to name a couple. We turned them into wonderful trust building opportunities and it did him so much good in the end though.
  • It took him a long time to realize that, even though we travel from time to time to see family, it doesn't mean he's getting left at another home. The first time we traveled with him, he was so quietly scared, he did not sleep for 33 and a half hours!! He had only just turned 2 at that time. How a boy could go that long without sleep at that age is just beyond me.
  • It took him a long time to realize that even though Marty travels to a work camp for 2 weeks, and then spends 2 weeks home every month, he is still coming home to us and will never leave us.
There's a ton we've worked through, and a whole other ton we will continue to work through as he grows up. Of course during all the things mentioned above we didn't know about all the homes he had been through, and he hadn't been diagnosed with R.A.D. yet. Had we known we may not have done those things, but I guess it was good we didn't realize because, looking back, each one of those things was so monumental in healing little pieces of him. So we have learned instead of letting him stay in his niche of fear, chaos, and rebellion, it’s much better for him that we bring him through the fire so to speak.

This journey we are about to embark on, getting into our RV and traveling around the U.S. for a year, will be so scary for him in the beginning. But I’m so glad we have this huge wonderful opportunity, not just for the rest of the family, but to bring him through another trust and bonding experience that will only make him healthier and stronger. After 2 years rooted in this home with us I really feel he is at the stage where he’s ready to take the next step and continue into a more in-depth healing process. Break molds and expectations of how things and places should be, and learn even further that God and his family are the 2 things he can count on in life.

2 comments:

Knit2dye4 said...

J is so lucky to have a family that understands him and what he has been through!!! I think if anyone could be successful at helping him heal, it would be you.

Lori

MrsM said...

Awww, thanks Lori! We really miss seeing you lady, hope things are going really well for you.