Pasco, Washington

I've been in the Richland area the past few days staying with a friend in Pasco, Washington. It's very strange down here, it's almost like a desert.... In Washington. --???--

Who'dathought?

I keep wondering when I might see a tumbleweed roll by, and my friend Dana assures me if I'd like to take a short drive with her, we could go see some, lol. She has a beautiful green, lush lawn, as do all the houses and businesses around here but other than that it's all dry and dead on the hillsides. Definitely not how I pictured any part of Washington.

The weather has been good and the boys (dog included) have all really enjoyed playing in the sun, sand, and water in Dana's back yard. It's really been a retreat from hotels and life on the road with out a home.

I have really loved being here for much different reasons. Dana has a beautiful girl who, like my son BJ, also has reactive attachment disorder.

When she heard we were coming she called another friend of hers who also parents a child with RAD so we could all meet up and visit. It is so amazing coming from a world where so many questioned why I parent the way I parent, to this weekend... A glimpse into two other families lives who parent almost identically to the way I parent. Who's kids although YEARS apart in ages, say things, do things and react on the same basic level as my BJ does. Both are families, who have also done the research, who have the council of a regular therapist, and are not crazy in the way they parent!

I have never spent time living with another family who deals with RAD, and I have never spent time around another child with RAD. Since we've moved in for the weekend I have heard her mother say many of the things I say, and do many of the things I do (things that are recommended and necessary!) - And much of it is the stuff that other adults who don't have experience with RAD have really had a hard time understanding about our family. It's just so good to See and know that other parents who are loving, kind, educated and doing the best for their children with RAD are doing what we do. It's good to not be alone.

I am telling you I would LOVE to pack Dana and her daughter up and take them with me, they are so wonderful. But there is a down side of having 2 with RAD under the same roof, so I guess I'll have to settle for visits here and there when we can.

I'd love to tell you more but I'm getting super tired. Tomorrow I leave for Clarkston, Washington where we'll stay until Marty flies in to meet us. I cannot wait to see him.

On The Road!

I've been meaning to post for a few days but the last few have just been a blur. The day I moved out of my house I moved into my best friend Len's house for a few days, I could have stayed there a few weeks! They made me feel right at home, and the bed was just sooo cozy. I am gonna really miss getting to see her and her husband Greg whenever I please. Their son got married on the 31st so I decided to stay just long enough to see that and then hit the road today. The wedding was really fun but between it being my last few days in Alaska to get everything done and them preparing for their sons big wedding, it was really hectic and we really only saw flashes of each other during my stay with them, lol! I think we are all breathing a big sigh of relief now that the chaotic part of the last few weeks are over. She and I got a picture taken together, I'll have to post when I get it.


Dad and I hit the Elmendorf Air-force Base Air Show (Arctic Thunder) on the 31st before the wedding. It was just amazing seeing all the things the base had organized for the crowds to see. They even had some type of fighter jet that will hover and spin around like a helicopter! That was really a strange site to see. Anyway we all had so much fun, and it was a perfect way to get together with dad before we leave state.

Big J, my 3 yr old has had such a hard time since we moved out of our home. He has hardly slept at all and is really worried I'm gonna leave him. I keep reassuring him that I will Never leave him but he is still really having troubles, I don't know maybe he's heard that to many times before, it's hard to say. His Reactive Attachment Disorder side is really running strong with all that's happening and the lack of sleep is only making it worse, lol. He is very obsessive about things being in order, looking just right, and staying clean - but when we walked into the reception hall for the wedding last night he reached out and put his whole hand in the cake frosting.
I. was.. Mort.i.fied.
I knew he had done it on purpose and was just so shocked. It isn't like him at all to do something like that but because of the lack of sleep and the lack of home, it just triggered that R.A.D. side of him. Since it was our last night in town I knew I had to just stick it out and stay, so I sat down, put him in my lap and put a light blanket over his head and told him to get some rest, which slowed him down and allowed me to visit and get some goodbyes in. Before we left at the end of the evening, I left his brother and him in the car for a few minutes while I said goodbye to a friend, I was only standing 5 feet from the Suburban but when I got back in the car he was stressed and said "I thought you left me mommy!" It just breaks my heart that after two years he's still worried he's gonna get left somewhere else. We don't even talk about foster care or the many homes he was in, when in front of him, I would have thought he'd have forgotten it all by now but he hasn't.

This move of ours will be so good for him, he will learn that places, homes, possessions change all the time but he will always have us, and he will always have God, and that's who he needs to count on!


(I had to do a u-turn in the highway to get this shot - a moose just munching on the grass growing up from the bottom of the lake)

Anyway today the kids and I drove from Anchorage, Alaska to Beaver Creek, Yukon Territory, Canada (about 430 miles). The drive was BEAUTIFUL. During the drive past the Matanuska Glacier and the hour before and after I just kept thinking, "This is Gods country!" I wish I would have stopped for pictures but I had already stopped with the little ones several times, was also trying to get through to the other side of the boarder AND was running late, I just decided to snap pictures through the windshield.... which didn't work out so great, haha. I googled pictures to show you how it all looked and found this website has some great pictures of everything we drove by. The photos above and below are shots I took along the way. My flickr page has a few more.






Tok, Alaska
This is where the boys and I had dinner tonight, lol. Don't worry, none of us had any booze, just corndogs and chicken. They absolutely LOVED the horse, which is what prompted the stop.

Tomorrow we're headed for Whitehorse!

Reactive Attachment Disorder

Well this evening I am reminded that, while moving and traveling will be a very good healing process on the road to recovery with Reactive Attachment Disorder, we will still have to travel to the pits and back before my son comes out on the sunny side.

Oh Lord…
Grant me patience please.

I remember once upon a time wondering why “reactive” was added to the front part of this particular disorder, lol I just didn’t understand how that word fit into the context. Wow, it didn’t take me long to LIVE the answer to that question. And thankfully those huge jaw dropping reactions don’t come along as often as they once did.

Our 3 yr old has Reactive Attachment Disorder (old news to us). Things were really rough for him before he came to live with us and this disorder is just one of the things that resulted from that experience. Going through a huge amount of homes seems like it was the biggest factor in getting that foundation that was so detrimental, so early on.

• It took him a while to learn to trust us, but even now when he gets scared, he doesn't talk - he reacts. So I guess the deeper more scary parts of trust are still being built - even after 2 years. Being tossed into the air by a loving parent and riding horses were Terrifying, just to name a couple. We turned them into wonderful trust building opportunities and it did him so much good in the end though.
• It took him a long time to realize that, even though we travel from time to time to see family, it doesn't mean he's getting left at another home. The first time we traveled with him, he was so quietly scared, he did not sleep for 33 and a half hours!! He had only just turned 2 at that time. How a boy could go that long without sleep at that age is just beyond me.
• It took him a long time to realize that even though Marty travels to a work camp for 2 weeks, and then spends 2 weeks home every month, he is still coming home to us and will never leave us.

There's a ton we've worked through, and a whole other ton we will continue to work through as he grows up. Of course during all the things mentioned above we didn't know about all the homes he had been through, and he hadn't been diagnosed with R.A.D. yet. Had we known we may not have done those things, but I guess it was good we didn't realize because, looking back, each one of those things was so monumental in healing little pieces of him. So we have learned instead of letting him stay in his niche of fear, chaos, and rebellion, it’s much better for him that we bring him through the fire so to speak.

This journey we are about to embark on, getting into our RV and traveling around the U.S. for a year, will be so scary for him in the beginning. But I’m so glad we have this huge wonderful opportunity, not just for the rest of the family, but to bring him through another trust and bonding experience that will only make him healthier and stronger. After 2 years rooted in this home with us I really feel he is at the stage where he’s ready to take the next step and continue into a more in-depth healing process. Break molds and expectations of how things and places should be, and learn even further that God and his family are the 2 things he can count on in life.